I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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