I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
