Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
