Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
