white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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