It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
