someone get that fucking seahorse.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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