her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
