She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
