I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
