They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
