5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
