Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
