Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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