i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
