I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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