I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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