You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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