ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I wish they made helmets for livers.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Randomize
