I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
