His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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