Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
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