i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
