her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
