so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
