if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
