i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
