he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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