when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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