How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Randomize
