Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
