8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
they need to just BURY HIM!
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
