I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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