): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
