My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
