u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I need to stop coming to work sober
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
