when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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