Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize
