why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
