seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
