I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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