Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
