i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
