sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
