We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
