I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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