did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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