im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
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