She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
