So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
You're like the curious george of whores
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
