Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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