ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
