why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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